Wednesday, 30 December 2009

SuperGord's New Year Message

I think we're all aware by now that Gordon Brown lives in his own little fantasy world which he has of course saved. This is a world in which Britain, through no fault of its government of course, was dragged into a recession, despite the fact that we were best prepared for it and from which we have still not emerged despite all of our competitor less well prepared nations having done so months ago.

Now, in his new year message, Gordon tells us that the Conservatives would wreck the recovery which has not yet happened and that our recovery is solely down to him. So we went into a recession which was not his fault but solely down to international factors. We are now emerging, albeit much slower than anyone else, from that recession and this, rather than international factors and our weakened currency, is entirely down to SuperGord and his brilliant economic strategies. It an interesting interpretation to say the least of the way things work.

Those of us who live in the real world thought of course that we are probably emerging from this recession despite rather than because of our dear leader. We thought that we are being dragged from recession by the rest of the world's recovery and the fact that we are now rather cheap compared to the rest of the world thanks to the involuntary devaluation of the pound, a devaluation greater even than the one imposed on us by that other great fantasist and liar, Gordon's predecessor, Harold Wilson. It must be something about Labour prime ministers. They certainly have a disconcerting habit of buggering up our economy.

We are of course wrong about all of this just as we were wrong when we thought we heard Gordon announce the abolition of boom and bust. Similarly the markets are wrong when they worry that Britain is running up too much debt, the Conservatives and leading economists are wrong when they worry that the government, despite promising a law, has still not explained how it will cut that debt (maybe SuperGord will swoop down and whisk it off out of harm's way into space) and employers are wrong when they predict another year of frozen wages, redundancies and slow business. It is of course wrong to suggest that it is barmy to keep spending money we don't have thus making our debt repayments ever larger far into the future. Oh and John Maynard Keynes was wrong when he said that you should save during the good years so that spending can increase during recessions. He may have been one of our greatest ever economists but Gordon knows best. Or at least he does now. He said something completely different about government debt in 1989. But the younger version of him was completely wrong because he had no idea what a balls up he would make if we were ever stupid enough to allow him into power.

Never mind, in a few month's time Gordon will be able to go off and spend a lot more time with his delusions. I still wonder who is going to be delegated the task of telling him he has lost and can't be prime minister any more. It will be the mother of all temper tantrums and will of course be because the British people are wrong. I wonder if he will just decide to ignore the result just as he ignores manifesto commitments and the laws of economics. We will find out next year. I can't wait.

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