Monday, 5 September 2016
Chauncey and the Wimmin
Just in case you missed it last week, possibly because you were down the pub, be on notice. Your days at the boozer are numbered if ever Chauncey gets the power that his supporters think is inevitable.
Chauncey is odds on to be the victor in his party's latest leadership election. Now it might well be the case, given the fervour that is felt for him amongst his party's entryist membership, that this would have been the case had he been competing against someone with a coherent message and argument. For it seems that Chauncey can do no wrong amongst his supporters. Even when he transparently lied about being unable to find a seat on a train they still believed him over Virgin. Of course which version of his story they believed is a matter of individual choice, but it didn't even seem to matter that Chauncey's story changed over the course of the week. His supporters believed him anyway. They believed all versions of his story. They just believe in him. Full. Stop.
And it is likely that they don't mind that he keeps spouting the most facile, dimwitted, juvenile drivel during his victory tour. Last week he told the country that he wants, indeed demands, a crackdown on people going for a drink after work. Not that he described it like that. Oh no. Chauncey likes to use big words to show that he can use big words. In this respect he is not unlike Donald Trump, although of course Donald is actually better educated than Chauncey, even if it didn't seem to permeate through that hair do and make him coherent.
But Chauncey told the world that, if he wins power, he wants to stop early evening socialisation. Yes that is how he described it. He probably felt that describing it as early evening socialisation would appeal to the kind of social workers, teachers and other not very productive and useless hangers on he attracts. They like using jargon. It makes them feel smart. It makes Chauncey feel smart. And he's far too puritanical to want any early evening socialisation anyway. Except he isn't. He announced this new policy at an early evening socialisation do. Drinks were optional. As were intellects.
Chauncey made this suggestion about early evening socialisation very much because he felt the need to appeal to women, sorry wimmin, who he felt like this kind of thing. They would be bound to agree with a crackdown on early evening socialisation he felt because this excludes them because they have to get home to 'look after the children that they have got.'
You can hear him saying it can't you in that earnest and slightly breathless way of his. And he really didn't understand that his actual words detracted from what he thought he was saying. To look after the children that they have got. That doesn't make you down with the wimmin, Chaunce. That makes you a nasty old misogynist dinosaur who is a touch confused.
Does Chauncey actually think that we live in a country - 21st century Britain - in which employers are going about forcing their employees to engage in early evening socialisation? Has this man who has never done a proper job in his life really got no idea about how normal people work? Does he suspect that many of us engage in this early evening socialisation entirely voluntarily and that, even if we are unable to do so, it is part of the choices we make? I don't have kids, but I don't think that being denied early evening socialisation would have been a major factor in the decision whether or not to breed. I want you to stay on the pill darling, I prefer a night out with the lads and lasses after the office closes so that we can talk about stationery.
And it's not as if this is a one off. Last year, before he got the job he now clings on to for reasons that few can properly fathom, he opined that it might be a good idea if we were to institute a policy of women only railway carriages so as to make travelling safer for women. That went down about as well a styrofoam cup of cold sick, but still nobody worked out that Chauncey is a deranged old zealot who doesn't really understand women. Or indeed men. He's quite the expert about drain covers though.
Oh and it has lately emerged that, though he lives in a £600,000 house in north London and earns a six figure salary and is in possession of a gilt edged pension backed by we the taxpayers, he doesn't consider himself rich or even wealthy despite his being on more than four times the average salary in the UK. Oh and when he accepted £20k from Iranian propaganda channels in return for bad mouthing his country he didn't consider this noteworthy either or an especially large sum.
You can't help but wonder how long it will be before the penny drops with the half wits who hang on Chauncey's every word. All the way to the morning after the next election? Have they got to taste era defining defeat before they realise what mugs they are? Do they have to take Labour to the brink of extinction or beyond before they wake up and smell the coffee? How many more brilliant wheezes like this can he come up with? Have they read his policies? Most of us sniggered, but clearly there are some who took them seriously.
And a poll today reveals that the public think that the British media have it in for Chauncey and are biased against him. Okay it is one of those leading question type polls that we don't have to pay much attention to, but what the hell? This is a man who wants to ban people going for drink after work for crying out loud. Biased against him? Somebody needs to speak truth unto them somehow. This is a man who has stayed on the fringes of British politics for a very good reason. Do you really need me to spell out what that reason is?