Friday, 2 September 2016

The Trump Catastrophe

So what are we to make of the latest episode in the Trump car crash candidacy? How do we get from a candidate who went to Mexico and seemed to have a civilised and cordial exchange of views with Mexico's president and was thus widely seen to at last be 'pivoting' and talking to the 80% of Americans who do not think that he is a stick it to the man hero about to make America great again by some undefined means he has not explained? How do we get from here to the same man who then went to Arizona and gave the same speech he has been giving now for 18 months and that gets the knuckle draggers to whoop and cheer and chant his name?

Well, I'll tell you exactly what we make of this. We make of it what any sentient non knuckle dragging human being makes of it. What the whole world is making of this in open-mouthed amazement. There are thousands upon thousands of analysts watching this election, thousands of journalists. But they are all guilty of over analysis. So let me cut through it all for you. Let me share with you my sophisticated analysis.

Donald Trump is an idiot. That's it

You want more? Why do you need more? What, you cannot believe that such a man could be the candidate of the GOP? Well no. None of us can.  But we all saw it happen. And we know why it happened. The GOP is divided and its base is cut off from the rest of the party. Traditionally this requires a pivot. But Trump lacks the intelligence or basic maturity to pull it off. He managed it for half a day in Mexico and then he yearned for the cheers of the crowd and just got bored. He has a frighteningly short attention span for a man who may soon have to sit through endless meetings and security briefings.

Nobody believed that Trump would get this far, least of all Trump himself. He thinks however, having got this far, that he is an even greater genius than hitherto. And so his arrogance has been redoubled.

We all know that Trump has a troubled relationship with the truth. He has been bullshitting and blanking his way through life for so long now and getting away with it that he feels that the truth is just for suckers. That's why he lies and then contradicts his own lies. Just take a look at the video above. There's almost an artistry to his bullshit. It's why he thinks he can get away with demanding openness and transparency from others whilst refusing point blank to publish his own tax returns or issuing bullshit medical details about himself that he clearly wrote himself. It's like when he used to act as his own publicist and then denied doing so. He probably acts as his own doctor too.

Why doesn't he want to publish his tax returns? Because he is nothing like as generous as he claims to be and nothing like as rich. He isn't really a billionaire at all. Oh he is rich. But only compared to me. Most people would understand a billionaire as being someone who could lay their hands on billions of dollars, even if they had to sell everything to do so. The only way that Donald could lay claim to being a billionaire is if he were elected president and somehow managed to sell Alaska back to the the Russians, pocketing a tribute from his friend Vladimir in so doing.

Actually maybe that is why he standing for the presidency.

More likely though is that Donald is not the complete success story he likes to boast of being. Ask yourself this: if he is such a great businessman how is it that he has gone bankrupt so many times? If he is such a great and wealthy businessman then why won't American banks lend to him? If he is such a great and wealthy businessman then why did he need to appear in a TV series playing the role of a big businessman? Why not just be the big businessman? The producers got a larger than life orange coloured, arrogant arsehole. You can see why they wanted him. Donald got a big fee for sure. But why would someone as wealthy and successful as he claims to be need to do that? Surely someone as successful as he claims to be wouldn't have been able to spare the time. So how can he afford to spend so much time on this election, an election he never expected to stand a chance of even getting the nomination for? It was all about his ego and his brand. Now, because he is who he is, he cannot back off gracefully and admit that he is out of his depth. So he is just going for broke and to hell with the consequences. Donald doesn't care what damage he causes, doesn't care what promises he breaks. Donald has no friends. Donald only cares about Donald.

So I come back to my sophisticated analysis. Donald Trump is just an idiot. I'll go further: he is a many times bankrupt, not very wealthy, not very successful, arrogant, racist, ill-educated, ignorant, immature, narcissistic idiot. He is a fratboy arse who never grew up. He is like a gross out movie played out on the national political stage. He is the accidental candidate about to cause collateral damage to a whole nation and then the whole world.

Democracy is not a perfect system. Trump is proving that. But he cannot possibly win, the numbers are a disaster for him and he probably just managed to make matters worse. So if he loses to a candidate as divisive and eminently beatable as Hillary, then democracy can't be that bad. It took an idiot to prove that.

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