Friday, 31 March 2017

Kim Jong-Un: The Crazy Fat Kid

It's been a heavy few days for news and so let us finish the week and month on a lighter note ahead of the frivolity of April Fools' Day. On such occasions this blog likes to laugh at North Korea. Thankfully they often oblige us by doing something bat shit crazy.

This week John McCain, a man not above calling his own president a few choice names for the very good reason that he is an orange moron, has got into trouble with the North Koreans for insulting the dignity of their Fat Leader. Incidentally, just think if he were the same colour as Trump he would look like Buddha.

McCain was interviewed last week on MSNBC and got onto the subject of the 'crazy fat kid that's running North Korea.' North Korea - which, incidentally, doesn't like being called North Korea despite the fact that it is the northern part of the Korean peninsula that was divided this way after the Second World War and by the war that the Fat Leader's grandfather started back in 1950 - has reacted in its usual way - by threatening grave consequences for this terrible slur against their beloved leader. McCain's comments, said the mouthpiece of the regime, the KCNA, delivered with revolutionary fervour by that angry shouty woman who sounds like an evil character from a Muppet movie, were 'blasphemy.' Yes, blasphemy and this has insulted the entire country, or at least it would have insulted and gravely offended them were it not for the fact that they are likely too busy trying to escape or to feed themselves on scraps. You can't help speculating if they ever wonder why, if their country is such a glorious socialist paradise, that only the Fat Leader is able to eat enough to make him fat. Here in Britain it's the poorest who are fat. Now that's proper equality.

Anyway, McCain, gloriously, responded thus:

North Korea is as ever threatening war. McCain and Ted Cruz, another who has offended the North Koreans who are not North Koreans, are, they said, like puppies who know no fear of the tiger. Puppies? In North Korea? No chance. Koreans from whichever part like to dine on dog. In the North though a puppy chihuahua would provide good eating for a family of four for a week.

Incidentally if you want to know how fat the Fat Leader is here is a picture of him from space blotting out the lights from his entire country.

And here is one of him buying his weekly ice cream allowance.

And here is one of him stuck in a submarine on his way to buy his weekly ice cream allowance and while someone fetches a tin opener.

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